This article, Day of the Intelligent Goblins, was created by Mr. Garrison.

Day of the Intelligent Goblins
Series: Time Fractures
Series Number: 2.7
Main Characters Drauss
Enemy: Future Goblins
Setting: Draynor Village, Lumbridge, Fifth age year 185
Writer: Mr. Garrison
Previous Story: Avian Apocalypse
Following Story: The Weapons Trade


Lumbridge becomes under siege from intelligent goblins from an unknown point in the future. Can the GDG stop them before they thieve the castle?


Lumbridge Woods, Night:

A lone adventurer returning from Draynor walked through the gloomy woods to Lumbridge. Owls hooted in the night air and the spiders scuttled about in the distance. Then, there was a sound coming from the bushes.

"There's one of them people!" Yelled a voice, as a fully upright goblin wearing what appeared to be steel armour clambered out from a bush. It was accompanied by others, and they all raised their swords and charged...

Title Sequence

GDG Base:

Drauss was reading a Varrock newspaper.

"This paper has been the same for ages!" Drauss moaned throwing the paper over the balcony. It hit a passing goblin on the head. "Watch it you stupid goblin!" Cratus stepped out on to the balcony.

"We've had a few reports in of goblins attacking people," Cratus said.

"Well the people probably started it, they're easy targets."

"No, no. These are intelligent goblins that have been seen wearing steel armour and sporting anything up to a rune sword!"

"Oops," Drauss said leaning over the balcony. "Sorry little guy!" He called to the goblin, waving at him. The goblin just looked and sneered before walking off.

"What was all that about?"

"Something involving the most repetitive newspaper in Gielinor."

Draynor Village:

Drauss and Cratus arrived at Draynor Village, it was busier than usual.

"Why all the rush everyone?" Drauss asked.

"They've launched an attack on Lumbridge! They're going to capture the castle!" Exclaimed a bank guard.

"Hey, we know a guy who robbed-"

"Shut up Cratus!" Drauss said.

"What shall we do?" Cratus asked.

"Get to Lumbridge and hopefully rid ourselves of our clever little pests." And with that, the duo made their way to Lumbridge.

Lumbridge Woods:

"Who goes there!" Yelled a voice from a bush. Drauss and Cratus stopped dead. From out of the bush came a goblin wearing iron armour with a mithril sword and kiteshield.

"Just our luck," Drauss grumbled.

"Well go on then, who are you?"

"We're just passing by," Cratus answered.

"Well Lumbridge is ours now, thanks to our free lift to the past," the goblin grinned.

"They're from the future," Dirth noted.

"Correct, and we're not as stupid as our ancestors! Prepare to die!"

"Well, that I could put into question, because for someone to threaten me, wearing all this metal armour which is essentially magnetic, I'd say they were stupid, because the thing is, I think it's about time you left," Drauss said. From his pocket he retrieved a magnetic sphere which he threw into the distance, pulling the goblin with him.

"That was a bit harsh wasn't it?" Cratus asked.

"I'm incredibly harsh to goblins, they killed my best friend," Drauss said marching onwards.

Lumbridge Castle:

Outside the Castle stood two goblins, each in steel armour with rune defenders in their hands.

"Now that's impressive," Cratus noted.

"It sure is, but the thing is now, if we kill them all, will we be changing the future?" Drauss asked.

"We could always just send them back,"

"To kill all those people in the future? But think, if we stop them now, we'll have wiped them out, they would never have brought about their own existence which is what they intend to do. I suggest we send our friends deep, down underground," Drauss said.

"What do you mean?"

"We'll allow them to create themselves, but we won't be letting them stay here. Now come on, we've got a Duke to rescue!"

Castle, Top Floor:

Drauss got out an electrical blaster and stunned all the goblins in the way. The Duke's room was barricaded off, the goblins had been trying to break in. Cratus knocked on the Duke's door.

"We've come to save you!" Cratus said. Duke Horacio opened the door immediately.

"Thank goodness you are here!" Horacio explained. Drauss looked out the window, an army of intelligent goblins had been created, and they were heading for the castle.

"Is there anyone else in here?" Drauss asked.

"Only the head chef, I think he is hiding downstairs somewhere," Horacio said.

Castle Kitchen:

The trio reached the kitchen, but the chef had gone. The trapdoor to downstairs was partially opened, and a trace of flour lied over the cover of the trapdoor.

"I think old Mr. Chef has gone downstairs," Drauss said. The three of them headed down the trapdoor into the cellar. Outside, two goblins marched after them, all carrying dragon daggers which were coated with poison. The two creatures looked around.

"Where did they go?" One asked.

"Obviously down that trapdoor to our cousins underground, I shall enjoy killing them all," the other said, his dagger glinting in the light.

Underground Tunnel:

Drauss, Cratus and Horacio had just entered the tunnel from the cellar. Drauss started to walk forwards.

"Stop!" Horacio exclaimed.

"What is it?" Drauss asked.

"These tunnels are booby-trapped, many of them contain drops to the slayer dungeon beneath the ground. Also, look out for any bugs, they tend to attack you down here."

"Right, now can we finally get going?" Drauss asked, getting a torch out of his pocket.

"Yes, yes," Horacio answered as they all headed off. The ground was crumbling in places, Drauss nearly fell down one of the holes, but thanks to Cratus he had narrowly avoided injury. There was the sound of footsteps behind them, and they turned to see the two goblins, each carrying dragon daggers.

"Going down?" Drauss asked sarcastically as he through two magnetic spheres down the hole not too far behind. The two charging goblins were immediately pulled down the hole into the depths below.

"I thought we weren't to kill anymore?" Cratus asked sternly.

"Yes sir," Drauss answered sarcastically.

"Enough sarcasm, let's get moving!" Horacio ordered.


The three of them finally reached the underground city and were greeted by cave goblins.

"Ground dwellers!" A cave goblin exclaimed happily, shaking their hands.

"Right, you lot, we need your help in getting rid of a few power-mad goblins from the future," Drauss said.

"Anything to help you humans, especially after all the help you have given to us over the years," the cave goblin said.

Lumbridge Castle:

"Oi! Stupid goblins!" Drauss exclaimed. He dashes towards the trapdoor as a whole army of goblins pursued him.

"Catch him and kill him!" Exclaimed a goblin carrying a rune two-handed sword.

Underground Tunnel:

As the army chased after Drauss, Cratus, Horacio and a number of cave goblins, tens of magnetic spheres were produced and thrown down holes. All of the goblins were pulled downwards.

"If we ever get out of here I'm going to cut you in two with this godsword!" Exclaimed a goblin from deep below.

"Of course you will, by the way, have you met the neighbors yet?" Drauss asked. A loud croak came from down the hole.

"What is the meaning of this? Giant frogs? Get us out! GET US OUT!" Exclaimed the goblin.

"Goodbye," Drauss said.

"Won't you completely alter the timeline now? There are no goblins left in Lumbridge now!" Cratus exclaimed.

"Not really, I already checked, there are plenty of average goblins about near the Wizards' Tower and the swamp. Those goblins down there will only ever be active in this year and at a certain point in the future, but then we will have to force them all through to now in order to keep history as it is. Intelligent goblins belong in the future though," Drauss said.

Lumbridge Swamp:

With Horacio and his chef back in the castle ad Lumbridge returned to normal, everything was fine. A goblin stumbled about the swamp until it tripped over a steel helmet. It picked it up and placed it on its head...


  • Drauss
  • Cratus
  • Goblin Victim
  • Bank Guard
  • Duke Horacio
  • Head Chef
  • Cave Goblin
  • Future Goblins
  • Swamp Goblin


  • Cratus references the Wise Old Man, who is currently in a coma.
  • Drauss notes that the newspapers of Varrock never change their content.
  • When the Cave Goblin references "all the help you have given to us over the years" it is referring to the number of quests relating to the cave goblins in the actual game.


Preceded by:
Avian Apocalypse
Episode navigation Followed by:
The Weapons Trade